Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Recovery from a cheat meal & Where's my head

Back on track today wasn't so bad.

What I ate:
830am: 1 scoop protein + 1 Tbs peanut butter, + water and ice cubes + banana
11am: chocolate chip Promax Bar (usually this is my 4th meal.
1pm: lettuce + salsa fresca (homemade), ground lean turkey with seasoning.
3pm: 3 slices turkey (approx 4 oz.) + 1/2 whole wheat wrap.
5:15pm: ground turkey with seasoning + salsa + f/f refried beans + 4 black olives.

Kettlebell : 45 minutes. A really good workout from Paul Daniels! I felt really good afterwards.

Where's my head!
I'm going through the motions with my nutrition and exercise, but I'm just not in it like I was in October. I hate to say it, but I think part of me has just moved on to other things that I find more interesting right now in my life. Right now, I'm so dedicated to homeschooling and learning about curriculum and reading about all sorts of things about the way I would like to continue homeschooling...that my mind is less interested in competing. I had always had this goal of competing, but now that I've accomplished it, I can check it off my "bucket list". I still desire to be more fit for the summer, but I'm not sure if I will compete again. Maybe the timing is wrong, maybe my attitude is wrong, maybe it's just not very interesting anymore, and the novelty has warn off. I don't really know the exact reason unless all of these excuses or reasons are IT. As for now, I'll continue on my journey, but with less enthusiasm. I don't think there is anything my family or friends could say that would make me change my mind or give me that drive. I think the drive has to come from within. It's a lot of work to have the motivation come from somewhere else. I wish I could be absolutely 100% in high gear, but I cannot.

Tomorrow is a running day and I may do a few leg exercises to start building up more shape on the legs.

Monday, March 14, 2011

kettlebell strength & cheat meals

I'm always amazed at how much kettlebell increases my strength. Not only do I feel stronger, but my body feels as though every part gets worked out. I love it, because I feel that I am less inclined to have an injury, regardless of how my body moves. In 45 minutes the workout is intense, fun, and done! Tonight we did many high pulls. It's a hard move for two reasons. One it feels awkward for a while and it takes a while to get it right. Once I got it, then it's a matter of staying strong for several sets. It definitely makes me huff and puff, while it's working the back and arm muscles. It's a great exercise.

good today, just delayed at different times, because of daylight savings. I woke up late, so everything was pushed an hour or two off the normal non daylight savings schedule.

Last night:
I had a cheat meal last night only. I hadn't been getting the amount of food I have needed. Too low in fat I definitely know. So I was back on track today. I could feel that yesterday I was hungrier than normal. I didn't know if working out Saturday morning threw my schedule off, because I usually wait until the evening to workout. Either way, I need to be much more careful and get the amount of nutrition I need.

I could beat myself up, but why?! It's so not worth it. I was looking at my competition photos today. They are pretty cool, but I could tell how much work went into it.

I'm going to keep plugging away, even though I don't feel the exact desire to compete like the first time.

Friday, March 11, 2011

11 Days

So today is my 11th consistent day without fail. I feel good, but a little cranky. The food intake is well. I tried two different types of salsa from Celinas Mexican restaurant/market in Rancho Santa Margarita. Their salsa is expensive, but very tasty. I had been making salsa at home, but it's not as yummy as theirs. I'll have to search for another recipe that gets me closer to that particular taste. I put the salsa on my yam & chicken today. It gave it a punch of flavor. Otherwise, my foods are basically the same each day.

Today's Nutrition:
same as always except for this evening I had a small bowl of chili. (ground low fat turkey, cannelini beans, onions, red and green chopped pepper, 1 can of diced tomatoes, chili seasoning all put into a crockpot for 5 hours). The kids loved it. They had it with some parmessien cheese & some French bread.

Yesterday I also had this same dinner. Very little fat, very high protein and good amount of carbs for workouts later.

Last night I had a wonderful kettlebell workout with Paul Daniels from thebodywarehouse.com
45 minutes and my muscles and self were totally exhausted. I like that type of workout.

Tonight I decided to rest. But that means I will workout Saturday and Sunday. I plan on going to kettlebell tomorrow morning since it's at 7am. That's a great time for me, it's before everything gets started in my household.

Sunday, I haven't planned out yet.

I'm certainly in a good place mentally. I'm getting through this process well right now. I'm starting to feel the rhythm of the mental challenge. I still have a ways to go before I'm more relaxed mentally, but then at that time it will probably be something different!


Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Emotional Update

Yesterday and today I have felt pretty good emotionally. I'm not angry and pissed off now. I wouldn't say that I'm excited and happy either. I'm in a place somewhere in between. I am sure that it's not too difficult to understand that when the body and mind have to go through a change that it is difficult. Success in this process comes from being able to manage one's actions by eating only the foods that will help make a successful transformation and consistently exercising and pushing the body to new levels as one is motivated or able to challenge oneself.

Inspite of all my complaining, I wouldn't put myself through this process unless I enjoyed the process. A moment on stage is just that. The challenge is really the months it takes to get to that one moment in time. I can understand why many people who exercise and diet for a prom, a reunion, a marriage, or some special event are not successful keeping off the weight after the event. The focus for all of us who have done these types of diets tends not to be successful, because it's all about the "moment" and not about the process. If one could get to the place of enjoying the process then there may be more emphasis on changing the mental state of being, and less focus on a single moment of time where "the jeans fit."

If one is to be successful then one needs to put the effort in on a daily basis to start making small changes. It doesn't mean that every day for the rest of one's life that one cannot go out to dinner, splurge on your favorite snack food, but it does mean that more time must be spent on altering one's food choices and making exercise a regular habit. In our house we don't go out to dinner evey week. Sometimes we go out once a month or maybe every two months, or maybe 3-4 times in two weeks. We are not consistent in that way, so that there are many more days that allow our entire family to stay committed to a particular nutrition and exercise schedule. Then when there are events or dinners out then we can relax more if we choose.

Kids should never be one's excuse for not eating well or exercising. Kids should eat well most of the time too. They should be eating fruits, vegetables, lean proteins, and good fats every day. Kids will always have birthday parties to attend, and little goodies that their friends share with them, so there is really no need to go out of one's way to buy unhealthy or highly processed foods for them. If anything, kids should be the reason to be at one's best. We are role models for them. If parents are on the couch eating, or eating fast food, don't expect them to do differently.  If your refrigerator is consistently packed with easy to go grab foods that are prepackaged, don't expect the child to wait for you to clean and cut fresh fruit.


Monday, March 7, 2011

thoughts about competing again

Okay. My mind is in the mode of competing, and I'm still doing everything in my fitness and nutrition departments to reach this goal. However, I'm reserved about saying too much, because I don't want to fail myself.

I'm a little pissy these days, because of the pressure I feel. However, I wouldn't want to back out just because of my feelings. By this age, I know that feelings are fleeting, so I won't worry too much about letting them interfere with progress.

Next week I'll start working out my legs more. Right now I feel like I'm still easing into everything. I'm now using a larger kettlebell when I workout. It's awesome, because I may eventually see more improvements than the first competition. I'm dreading the fact that I'll have to spend more time on my legs. I just have it in my thoughts that my workouts will have to get longer, and I'm not really in the mood of spending too much time in the gym. That is why I like kettlebell so much. Perhaps if Paul Daniels (from http://www.bodywarehouse.com/) sees this blog he will up my workout a little so that I don't have to do too much on the days at home!

Tonight I had kettlebell class.
Tomorrow I'll have another kettlebell class
Wednesday at home running on the treadmill 30 minutes & attempt some more leg exercises.

This Wednesday I'm supposed to go out with friends. However, I will have to order plain chicken & broccoli if that is the case! I'll bring my Good Earth Tea bag just in case I need a little "dessert".

Thought for the day:
If you want to change your body, then you have to change your mind. Then your actions will follow.
You can think really hard about how much you want it, but it won't do any good unless your willing to accept a new way of of behaving.


Friday, March 4, 2011

Going Through The Motions

I'm still moving forward with the goal to compete. While I am not fully engaged in the process mentally, I am physically going through the motions. I make sure I pack meals to eat when I'm away from the house, eat every 2 1/2 -3 hours, and make a conscious effort at portion control. However, I will say that in the next few days I'm apt to take out the food scale and weigh the food to make sure that I'm not eating too much or too little. I know it's not the most enjoyable thing to do, but honestly if I'm going to drop weight and meet this goal then I have to weigh the protein portion at the bare minimum. At 43 years old, the portion size is so important. Otherwise, what's the point of working so hard when there is nothing to show for it, because I just ate too much, eventhough it was the right type of food?

Tonight's workout:
30 minute run on treadmill at 4.5 speed. 5 minute cool down.
3 sets of sit ups & 4 sets of pull ups. I'm back to 1-2 pull ups. I'm just happy I can do them still.

Everything the same as yesterday's blog, except:
Meal 3: 1 cup steamed broccoli & a vegetable/white chicken stew that I made a few nights ago. Fat was minimal.
Meal 5: Dinner was 1 cup steamed green beans, 4 oz chicken breast (had little bit if mozzerella cheese & some other stuff that was not strictly on the diet). We had a dinner party tonight and I was lazy and didn't make something different for my dinner. Instead I was very careful with portion size. No dessert, eventhough everybody else had homemade banana bread and butter pecan low fat ice cream. I had hot tea.

Last night and some of today I have felt a little pissed off. I'm not angry at anyone or anything...It's just the mental part of getting into the rhythm of a strict routine.

I don't want to scare anybody away from challenging themselves. I think that having a challenge is good. It stretches the mind and allows one to venture where one would not normally go. It's just tough.


Thursday, March 3, 2011

Seeing and Feeling the Momentum

I had two good weeks of being back on track and then two days off, and now back on track again. There's this part of me that wants to compete one more time and another part of me that wants to relax. I guess I underestimated how much energy from all different parts of my life it takes to get ready for a competition. The first competition my mind was completely focused. Now perhaps knowing how much went into the first competition, I'm undecided about whether I want it or not. My husband competes this April, which doesn't seem to effect whether or not I want to compete. The decision is very much an internal and personal decision based on nothing more than my desire to commit.

Paul Daniels, my kettlebell coach, asked me "when am I going to get serious." It's a good and valid question. After Monday's class I started to think more about what he said. All I've come up with in my mind is that I'm undecided, but leaning toward competing. So with that in mind, Monday I started back on track with my fitness and nutrition training. I figure that as long as I go through the process as if I'm competing, I will eventually make a decision one way or another if June will be the month I compete.

I don't lose anything in the process, since I am training anyway, regardless of my emotional state. I like the thrill of challenging myself, but there are other parts of my life that I'm also obsessed with right now...specifically homeschooling. While I didn't think I would homeschool another year, I have decided to rethink the matter. I'm loving all the things I am able to teach the girls and there are so many curriculum options out there that I've explored that I think that what I am able to come up with will be absolutely awesome. But again, I'm undecided about this decision too.

It's all very fascinating to me, and less so for you, but I'm hoping that my sharing helps to communicate the fact that getting ready for a competition or any significant change is time consuming, mentally challenging, and a lot of hard work.

In the end, it's probably worth my time...so for now you'll just have to read blogs that communicate the internal struggles that I will go through. Perhaps within the month I will be more definitive.

for now I will post my nutrition & exercise for the day:
45 minutes Kettlebell class tonight.

8am: 1 scoop protein + 1 T peanut butter + 1 banana + 2 ice cubes + water = breakfast.
10:45: 1 bosc pear + 1 hardboiled egg with some salt
1pm: 1/3 sweet potato + salsa + broccoli + 3-4 oz. canned white chicken
3pm: 1 chocolate chip promax bar
5: 25pm: 1 1/2 cups of ground turkey with fat free refried beans + spices.
8pm: post workout 1/2 scoop chocolate protein powder with water.