I had two good weeks of being back on track and then two days off, and now back on track again. There's this part of me that wants to compete one more time and another part of me that wants to relax. I guess I underestimated how much energy from all different parts of my life it takes to get ready for a competition. The first competition my mind was completely focused. Now perhaps knowing how much went into the first competition, I'm undecided about whether I want it or not. My husband competes this April, which doesn't seem to effect whether or not I want to compete. The decision is very much an internal and personal decision based on nothing more than my desire to commit.
Paul Daniels, my kettlebell coach, asked me "when am I going to get serious." It's a good and valid question. After Monday's class I started to think more about what he said. All I've come up with in my mind is that I'm undecided, but leaning toward competing. So with that in mind, Monday I started back on track with my fitness and nutrition training. I figure that as long as I go through the process as if I'm competing, I will eventually make a decision one way or another if June will be the month I compete.
I don't lose anything in the process, since I am training anyway, regardless of my emotional state. I like the thrill of challenging myself, but there are other parts of my life that I'm also obsessed with right now...specifically homeschooling. While I didn't think I would homeschool another year, I have decided to rethink the matter. I'm loving all the things I am able to teach the girls and there are so many curriculum options out there that I've explored that I think that what I am able to come up with will be absolutely awesome. But again, I'm undecided about this decision too.
It's all very fascinating to me, and less so for you, but I'm hoping that my sharing helps to communicate the fact that getting ready for a competition or any significant change is time consuming, mentally challenging, and a lot of hard work.
In the end, it's probably worth my time...so for now you'll just have to read blogs that communicate the internal struggles that I will go through. Perhaps within the month I will be more definitive.
for now I will post my nutrition & exercise for the day:
45 minutes Kettlebell class tonight.
8am: 1 scoop protein + 1 T peanut butter + 1 banana + 2 ice cubes + water = breakfast.
10:45: 1 bosc pear + 1 hardboiled egg with some salt
1pm: 1/3 sweet potato + salsa + broccoli + 3-4 oz. canned white chicken
3pm: 1 chocolate chip promax bar
5: 25pm: 1 1/2 cups of ground turkey with fat free refried beans + spices.
8pm: post workout 1/2 scoop chocolate protein powder with water.