Tuesday, September 28, 2010


I'm pretty much a big ball of emotion right now. Again, it's probably getting close to that time of month. In addition, I feel miserable. I lost another 1/2 lb, but that doesn't seem to matter. I feel like Eeore. Yesterday, Monday, I was in the pits. For a period of time I felt good after my workout. Then, I think I was just okay for most of the day.

Today, nothing seems to make me happy. I wasn't going to workout, because I have lots of excuses, but I will probably workout in the next hour, eventhough I workout tomorrow at 11am.

I think the last time I felt this way was last month around "that time". So, I shouldn't complain too much.

The positive side:

Taco Salad Recipe
I had a wonderful meal tonight. I made some low fat ground turkey in a pan with taco bell seasoning packet. I only use about 1/2 the packet. I made a taco salad with the ground turkey. I combined garbanzo beans, kidney beans, iceberg lettuce, tomatoes, corn (previously frozen kernels), and mixed it all up. That's what I ate. For the family, I gave them the same meal, but added crushed Dorritos. I make a Tofutti & taco sauce dressing for the side, just in case the family wants to stir it into their salad. I omit the cheese for everybody, since it's really not needed. This is a wonderful recipe.

I feel a little better now. I'm having my Good Earth Decafinated Original Tea, getting all my frustration out, and not having to attend to anybody else.

As is with everything else, everything in time passes, and everything in time changes.
...my emotions will too.


Wednesday, September 22, 2010

The Days after a Cheat Meal

Always without fail I feel guilty or badly the next several days after a cheat meal. The thought just sits there on my mind and it doesn't go away quickly. The repercussions are always more devastating in the mind than what it does to the body. I think my body feels fine, and like I said on the last blog, I think my body needed some more calories.

Bouncing back was physically easy. I just got right back on track. But I go through the "what ifs", "the should-ofs", and the "wish-I-hads". Then I'm reminded by my gentler side that living in the past does not serve a good purpose.

Yesterday and today were good days nutritionally. I ate well and kept the carb/fat/protein ratios balanced.
Yesterday I ran on the treadmill and did 4 sets of pull ups and 3 sets of sit-ups. Monday and today I did Kettlebell with Paul Daniels. I had two great workouts. Today, my workout consisted of one legged dead lifts, squats, clean and presses, one arm rows, and swings. We are upping the amount of time spent on the legs, since that is where I need the work.

At this point, I think if I was to drop 3 pounds in 5 weeks I will be in excellent shape for the competition.
The most important part right now is to keep the diet consistent, keep the carbohydrates "green" and low glycemic, and not focus too heavily on counting the days. Counting the days makes me feel rushed and and pressured to do more than what I am currently doing. I don't think that is a good idea, because when I'm under pressure it makes me feel like I have to make more changes to my program. The fact is that I just need to be consistent. Consistency always pays off.

Today: 17% body fat & 111 lbs.

Feel free to ask me any questions or comment on any of my blogs.
FYI: today was a good homeschooling day. It's feeling a little more comfortable, even though I have my uncertain moments.


Monday, September 20, 2010

Stress and Cheating

So last night I ended up having a few munchies, something I hadn't done at all. I think there were several reasons why. For one, I don't think I had been eating as much as I should have been the last few days. Secondly, I have been so busy I was relying on protein bars for my 1pm meal instead of chicken and broccoli (or something similar). The bars don't have as much staying power in the body as real food. Last of all, (although less a contributing factor) is the stress from being so incredibly busy. Homeschooling my kids is taking its toll on me. It's a difficult transition for me. I'm never too sure from one day to the next if I'm going to cave in and send them back to public school. I know the kids like being home with "mom" and that they seem very happy, but I'm also very aware that I may not be able to do it with less stress. We'll see.

Anyway, last night I had some homemade chili I made for the family and one 1/2" thick piece of banana bread. It really tasted good! The homemade chili was fine to have in all honesty. It was the banana bread I know I should not have had, because of the sugar and white flour. Later that evening I was still hungry. So I thought and thought and thought. I decided to keep to the foods I normally eat, but just have what my body seemed like it needed. I ate 3 pieces of turkey (cold cuts). Cold cuts are not on my program, but at least it was a protein! Then, I had 1/2 fresh mango. Yum. Then I had 1 whole grain, no salt, rice cake with peanut butter. I probably had 2 rounded tablespoons of organic peanut butter. I just love peanut butter. That was it.

In addition, I didn't work out yesterday (Sunday). I normally workout 6 days a week, but decided I wanted and needed a day off. Paul (from www.bodywarehouse.com). said that I should be taking another day off anyway and my body probably needed the extra food. He's probably right or else I wouldn't have had that cheat meal nor taken the day off.

This morning at Kettlebell with Paul I felt energized and much happier, other than the fact that I don't like the feeling of knowing I "cheated". Oh well. Last night before bed I spent some time thinking and regrouping, so that in the morning I would be right back on track.

Today has been a perfect nutrition and exercise day. I ate exactly how I need to and had a wonderful kettlebell class.

I smiled to myself during kettlebell, because I remembered that Paul has that advertisement in his newsletter that says "burn 12oo calories in 35 minutes...doing Kettlebell". Today at Kettlebell, I am sure I burned 1200 calories...so that should cover the extra calories I ate last night!

FYI: I'm at 111.5 lbs. (well....before I ate my extra meal last night!)
110lbs is my 2nd big goal.

I have 5 weeks until my competition. I can't believe it's coming up so soon.
I am hoping to lose just a few more pounds. I'd like to be just under 110 lbs.


Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Paul Daniels www.Bodywarehouse.com Workout

Here are a few pictures of me doing kettlebell. Honestly, I can't believe how many different moves I can do with the kettlebell, and I know that there are so many more I haven't learned. There are many people I talk with who have never tried kettlebell or may not know what kettlebell workouts are all about. I'm not surprised, but it's very exciting just how easy it is to burn so many calories in such a short amount of time while being able to sculpt the body.

Today, I did rows for my back, presses for my lats and arms, squats for my legs, swings for my entire body, and of course the reality is that every move pretty much works the entire body, because you keep your core strong and tight while using the kettlebell. I love the fact that squats and lunges take the pressure off of the knees and back, I don't have any joint problem, and I really don't need to do any more weight training with dumbbells or other gym equipment. Now, the reality is that I love working out with gym equipment and I most likely will not stop, but I love the fact that I could stop and just do Kettlebells and still get all the great muscle definition in a shorter amount of time.

Today, like most days, the girls go with me to Kettlebell in the late morning now that I am homeschooling them. It works out well, because I teach them for a few hours in the morning and then they have a break when I get to workout. Paul is awesome with the kids and doesn't seem to mind that they act silly and are total goof balls.

Still at 112 pounds.

Bikini Pictures

Posing Suits:
My timing is a little off! I know I was supposed to post pictures a long time ago, but did not. Sorry.
Anyway, here are the two posing suits that I was contemplating. I decided to return the green one. The green one didn't fit correctly. It felt too big. I know, it doesn't look it, but it didn't hold me as well as the purple one. I put them on first thing in the morning, so I am not wearing any make-up and my hair is not brushed, just quickly put into a ponytail.

I have yet to put on the make-up I intend to wear. Now that I have 6 weeks left until the competition, I will start practicing my posing. Remember, I am going into a bikini competition, so the muscle definition doesn't have to be as extreme as a figure competitor. Figure competitors show absolutely every stitch of muscle. It's a very different category. Bikini competitors have to look fit, but should be shapely. Too much definition could have one lose the competition. Since it will be my first competition and first time trying to get fit to this level, I thought I would start out with what I consider an easier level.

This next 6 weeks of nutrition and exercise is extremely important to maintain. Even though I go through my ups and downs emotionally, because of feeling hungry at times or tired, I think I've grown and learned so much along the way about being able to endure. Finding new ways to cope and calm my nerves and frustration has made me happier, not just because my body is fit, but because my mind feels stronger.
Taking myself through this process of learning and practicing to be consistent and persistent has made me see that I am capable of dealing with just about anything that comes my way.

"Dieting"  or getting "really fit" does not seem so much about losing weight as it is about gaining new freedoms. I think the freedoms I have gained are all mental. Mentally I'm tougher, but more relaxed. I am more at peace and my thoughts about what I can do are broadened by the strength I've gained from going the distance and not giving in at any point. I don't feel distracted or feel sucked in by my desires to have something I want just because I can (let's say if we are talking about a desert or good smelling popcorn at the theatre).

In addition, for the number of times I have just ran on the treadmill when I didn't want to or put my all into a kettlebell or weight training session when I wasn't feeling "it", I think that I have always felt better when I did what I was supposed to do in spite of my "feelings".

I had to stick the tag of the bathing suit inside the front..so it looks a little weird, huh?

Sunday, September 12, 2010

6 weeks to go and feeling a little complacent

Just when I thought I was feeling like I was in a groove with my eating and exercise, it changed. I am still on track with my exercise and nutrition program, but I'm getting a little tired of how long I've been keeping this pace up. I feel hungry once in a while, and then I drink tea. Tonight I had a 1/2 Tablespoon with dinner (green beans, carrots, and lean ground turkey meatloaf). I was just so hungry after dinner. I think it's a combination of having workouts that are more intense, burning more calories, and needing more food. I'm trying to be careful about how much I am eating, because I still would like to lose another 4-6 pounds.

I'm excited about competing, and I think I just might be ready in time for October 30th. At the same time, the strict nutrition and exercise program is wearing me down some. I haven't been exercising as vigorously on the weekends, so that I can give my body a rest a little bit more. My body might be saying it's needing more rest.

Also...I haven't been blogging as much, because I've been consumed with this whole life change into homeschooling my children. I am relaxed at times and a nervous wreck at other times. Then I go back and have another large cup of tea to relax my nerves. It really does the trick for me. I think all of us need those little tricks that help us get through tough moments without sabotaging.

Trying to balance all of the stuff going on is tough. I know it's one day or one moment at a time, and asking myself to do everything, always, can be stressful. Piano has really taken a backseat in the last few months and now I'm really missing my practice time. I'll probably have to set a goal of sitting down to the piano for 15-20 minutes a day instead of 1-2 hours. In this way, at least I'll be sitting down to practice a little. I know I'll be able to do all of the stuff I have to do, it's just organizing, prioritizing, and putting some effort into some stuff while other stuff gets more of my attention.

This past weekend my daughter had her first gymnastic competition. Afterwards, all of us parents and our children went to Souplantation. That was hard! It would have been nice to relax and have a nice big salad, but I had two glasses of water. It was a little past 1pm, and I had already finished the lunch I packed in the car on the way to the restaurant. I am still maintaining my 5-6 meals per day, at the exact hours of 8/830am, 1030am, 1pm, 3pm, 530pm, and sometimes at 930pm. Having the consistent meals at the same time really helps me to stay on track and keeps me from getting those nasty cravings.

Anyway, I know I had a lot of things to blah blah about. I hope it was at least interesting or helpful.
I'm a little "down in the dumps" right now. I think I'll go take a shower, get bundley in my p.j's and watch some UFC!


Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Losing Fat with Kettlebells

Okay, I'm totally convinced about the positive effects and muscle definition that kettlebell workouts provide. I have not been focusing too much on weight training on days off from kettlebell, and yet I am seeing excellent results from the kettlebell training. I am now at 112 pounds! I didn't expect to be at this weight until at least the end of September or the beginning of October.

Today Paul Daniels (at www.bodywarehouse.com)  put me through a short workout (35 minutes) and my muscles were thoroughly exhausted. He combined double kettlebell swings, clean and presses, swing and presses, and squats for the 20 minutes of the workout. I did several repetitions and sets. I was drenched, exhausted, and loved the workout.

In addition to the fact that I have been reducing the time I spend weight training in my garage, but keeping all the same workouts in place and my nutrition/calories in check, I am positive that I am not losing muscle.

The intensity of my workouts have increased which is probably why I am dropping weight consistently. I love the kettlebell workouts. I love what they do for my core, my shape, and that it doesn't require an enormous time commitment.

I know someone who bought the PX90 and works out 90 minutes or so 6 days a week. Now that sounds exhausting. I never workout 90 minutes on any given day! I can't and honesty I just don't see the need. For busy lives like the one I have daily, I just wouldn't want to commit that much time. I think I would fail.

I foresee that Kettlebell will be the next new workout people will be talking about and wanting to do. Fortunately it is not another gimmick. It really works.


Saturday, September 4, 2010

Busy life still finding time to stay on track

I have been incredibly busy lately trying to get ready to home school our two daughters. I am scared, nervous, and a wreck at times. I haven't had that feeling in a long time or perhaps never. I've been going through doubts and all sorts of emotions. Yet, I've been able to maintain my diet and exercise regiment.
Weight is now 114 lbs. I just keep sticking with it. It gets easier the more I continue the same day in and day out regiment. I still have days or moments where I just feel like relaxing my food options or not exercise, but I just counter it with stick-to-it determination.

I just dove into the homeschooling with not enough time to ease into it, and it's difficult. I think if I had dove into my fitness and diet routine without a gradual increase in intensity, I would have failed!

I have been working my butt' off to see if I have what it takes to keep on track with the homeschooling. Unfortunately even though I leaped into it...I am still going to give myself an out if I have to.

Diet and exercise is definitely a gradual easing into lifestyle that needs time in order to develop commitment and focus and determination. I look back in the past and see that there were definite times that I just went for it with full force and failed, and not just once.

Most likely the easing into something new is important to produce a successful outcome. I am so used to eating certain foods at certain times of day, look forward to those meals, and I don't feel like I'm missing out on anything.


Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Family Meals & My Meals

My husband finished his contest in the middle of last month,and  he is now able to relax about what he eats. He eats well on a daily basis, but he eats foods that I don't, because goals are different than his right now. The children also don't eat what I eat, even though they eat well. Yet, I am the cook. I usually eat differently even when we sit down to dinner at night. One night I made homemade pizza, and I had a low fat turkey patty with steamed broccoli. Another night I made lasagna with steamed vegetables; I ate the vegetables but had a piece of chicken breast instead.

Tonight we had an end of the summer Italian buffet dinner for our girls gymnastics group. I didn't realize that the buffet would only include cheese & pepperoni pizza, Chicken Alfredo, white pasta with marinara sauce,  and salad with plenty of dressing mixed into it. I thought I would be able to eat the pasta with marinara sauce, but then I realized it was white pasta. We usually eat dinner around 5:30pm, so by the time the restaurant served dinner it was already 7pm. I was completely starving. After a split second thought about eating the pasta and maybe some salad, I decided to go over to the waiter and ask if I could order a chicken breast with some seasoning, no oil or fat, and 2 cups of steamed broccoli. He put the order in right away. My food came around 7:30pm, but I saved myself from eating what I knew I would have regretted. It didn't seem to faze anybody there, and I felt so much better staying committed and on track.

Whether in the house or at a restaurant, I keep on track, because my mind will not let go of the fact that I want to obtain this goal. I know what I need to do and I just do it! No, it's not easy, and sometimes frustrating, and sometimes I just want to have a cheat meal. I go through an array of emotions at time, I drink my tea, and just sit with the emotion until it passes, or I go to sleep at night. The great thing about sleep is that I DON'T have to think! In the morning all is well.

Last night was hell. I really wanted to just relax my diet. I wanted a bag of popcorn or a Golden Spoon frozen yogurt with my favorite peanut butter cup topping. I talked to my husband and told him all about it, just because I needed a sounding board. It helped. It didn't fully take away the feelings and desires I was having, and he didn't say anything that made me feel better or worse. There wasn't anything magic about what anybody could say to make me feel differently. Living with the place I was in was just what I had to go through.

Anyway, it is possible to eat differently than other people and not feel like I had to eat what everybody else did. It is also a fact that getting used to just sitting with my feelings and not reacting is very important to my success.

Those are just a few of my thoughts this evening.
Baby steps all the way.