Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Family Meals & My Meals

My husband finished his contest in the middle of last month,and  he is now able to relax about what he eats. He eats well on a daily basis, but he eats foods that I don't, because goals are different than his right now. The children also don't eat what I eat, even though they eat well. Yet, I am the cook. I usually eat differently even when we sit down to dinner at night. One night I made homemade pizza, and I had a low fat turkey patty with steamed broccoli. Another night I made lasagna with steamed vegetables; I ate the vegetables but had a piece of chicken breast instead.

Tonight we had an end of the summer Italian buffet dinner for our girls gymnastics group. I didn't realize that the buffet would only include cheese & pepperoni pizza, Chicken Alfredo, white pasta with marinara sauce,  and salad with plenty of dressing mixed into it. I thought I would be able to eat the pasta with marinara sauce, but then I realized it was white pasta. We usually eat dinner around 5:30pm, so by the time the restaurant served dinner it was already 7pm. I was completely starving. After a split second thought about eating the pasta and maybe some salad, I decided to go over to the waiter and ask if I could order a chicken breast with some seasoning, no oil or fat, and 2 cups of steamed broccoli. He put the order in right away. My food came around 7:30pm, but I saved myself from eating what I knew I would have regretted. It didn't seem to faze anybody there, and I felt so much better staying committed and on track.

Whether in the house or at a restaurant, I keep on track, because my mind will not let go of the fact that I want to obtain this goal. I know what I need to do and I just do it! No, it's not easy, and sometimes frustrating, and sometimes I just want to have a cheat meal. I go through an array of emotions at time, I drink my tea, and just sit with the emotion until it passes, or I go to sleep at night. The great thing about sleep is that I DON'T have to think! In the morning all is well.

Last night was hell. I really wanted to just relax my diet. I wanted a bag of popcorn or a Golden Spoon frozen yogurt with my favorite peanut butter cup topping. I talked to my husband and told him all about it, just because I needed a sounding board. It helped. It didn't fully take away the feelings and desires I was having, and he didn't say anything that made me feel better or worse. There wasn't anything magic about what anybody could say to make me feel differently. Living with the place I was in was just what I had to go through.

Anyway, it is possible to eat differently than other people and not feel like I had to eat what everybody else did. It is also a fact that getting used to just sitting with my feelings and not reacting is very important to my success.

Those are just a few of my thoughts this evening.
Baby steps all the way.


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